My nine-year-old son is the center of my universe. This is the story of his childhood as it unfolds. Please read the first post, "Why I started this blog," to know more.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I want to tell you so much, my son

Earlier this month, Munchkin accidentally deleted a whole set of photos from the camera, and his Coats Eye photo was among those. (See post: Coats Eye Photo)

Last night, I was downloading all the pictures from the memory card and found another photo of his which shows his Coats Eye. It was a reminder that he has to visit the doctor in exactly a month's time to see if the exudates (leakages) have been absorbed. More importantly, I am praying that there will be no fresh leakage. After all, you can do only a limited number of cryotherapy procedures.

I have been interacting on various forums and was thrilled to discover that people have actually beaten Coats with a combination of laser and cryo procedures...even when diagnosed with the condition in both eyes. It fills me with hope.

There is so much I want to say to my little soldier, but I don't know if he will understand. Maybe one day, he can read this and know what I wanted to say.
I'm sorry, my little one, that I couldn't prevent this
... that I didn't know that such a condition existed or we might have discovered it sooner
... that you had to undergo two surgeries before the age of 6 and I couldn't prevent that either
... that you may never become a fighter pilot or an astronaut, like you keep saying you want to.
... that I cannot wish away the fact that you will have to get your eyes checked frequently for the rest of your life
... that I could not do more for you

And I hope that you will not hold my helplessness against me when you are old enough to understand all of this.

Caught off-guard: Munchkin's Coats Eye. 18 January 2008

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